You can be part of something new. Something totally different.

Today at MIT we are proud to announce the beginning of a new program. A program unlike any other. Today, you can be part of something new. Something totally different, but also welcoming and wonderful.

Today, MIT begins its new pilot program, Pilot 2021, geared to jump-start students towards a life of industry. At MIT, we believe that success comes through hard work, but that doesn't mean our students shouldn't have some time to play. Pilot 2021 aims to provide the perfect balance of attention towards important academics, and fun, healthy play, all while connecting our investors to the single most talked-about product of the year - our students.

Pilot 2021 is big. MIT has been a global leader in technology for decades, and we don't plan to stop now. Through nothing but the blood, sweat, and tears of our tireless administration, we at MIT have devised a plan to not only cut down on the troubling trends witnessed in certain undergraduate communities, but most importantly cut costs. Through the re-opurposing of our oldest dormitory into a new and exciting living group, we hope to guide our students on an exciting path - through career exploration, mind & body wellness, and most importantly, meal kits. Our kids can't work unless they've eaten well!

But this is only the beginning. We're excited to share with our investors, that the Institute will now be offering a competitive selection of our best and brightest, on sale for you today. The products we have to offer here today are truly some our top performers, from a diversity of backgrounds, with a diversity of interests. And the prices are competitive to match. Our selection is currently limited, so we suggest that interested parties act quickly. Following success of this initial test, the Institute plans to roll out the Pilot 2021 program on a broader scale, with plans to include our entire student body - undergraduates and graduates.

Of course, MIT has always been known for its strong sense of individuality and quirkiness. The carefree sense of childlike inquisition that our students so proudly possess is of course fostered and developed through undergraduate life at the Institute. That's why we made sure, while developing Pilot 2021, to communicate with students at every step of the way. The Pilot 2021 program comes to you today through nearly unanimous agreement between students, faculty, and administration. With an an approval rating of 97% from our undergraduates, the Pilot 2021 program serves the interests of everyone. At MIT, nothing comes before our students. The Corporation has been an advocate for student rights since its inception, and the members of the undergraduate community must surely agree.

We expect to run out of stock during our pilot program very quickly. We urge all interested parties to purchase these fine students as quickly as possible. Demand has never been higher.

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